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Conversations: The Help

Well, I’m here.

You asked me to come, so I came.

What do we do now?

I asked for your presence because I need you to help me.

Will you help me?

I– I don’t know that I can.

Help you, I mean.

I’ve never been of much help to myself all these years…

What if I can’t help anybody?

Stop, stop, stop. 

You think way too much for your own good.

Let’s start off with something easy then.

What is it that you want to do?

I mean, wouldn’t it be enough to set your mind on one thing you love and actually do it?

What do you mean?

Do what you love.

I’m sorry– I can’t.

Do you always have an excuse for everything? 

You’re so dismissive sometimes.

That’s not it…

Isn’t it?

No, you wouldn’t understand.

Then help me understand.

I told you already; I can’t help you do anything.

That’s hard for me to believe.

Well, it isn’t my responsibility to manage what you believe. 

You can believe whatever you want to believe. 

I’m simply telling you what is.

What is it?

You can’t be serious.

Oh, I’m serious. Tell me what ‘is’.

I can’t.

Go on. 

Don’t get all shy on me now.

You’ve been talking a pretty big game recently.

It’s not like you to backtrack.

You don’t understand.

Try me.

Leave me alone.

I’m not leaving until you tell me.

I can’t do what I love.

And why is that?

I just can’t okay?

Gosh!

Why won’t you just drop it already?

I’m not in the mood for this right now!

When are you ever in the mood for anything?

What, you want to spend the rest of your life deciding not to live, all because you’re “not in the mood”?

Do not mock me.

Who says I’m mocking you?

I’m just telling you what is…

If you don’t stop…

No.

I won’t stop.

Maybe you should stop.

Whatever.

This, right here, is exactly the problem.

Are you not listening to me?

It’s not ‘Whatever‘, okay?

Nothing is ‘Whatever‘.

Not now.

Not anymore.

It’s too late for all of that.

I’m here, you’re here.

Are you ready for this or not?

I– I’m sorry. Ready for what, exactly?

You know what.

But what if I don’t?

If you’re still lost after all this time…

I’m sorry. 

I’m trying to understand, really, I am.

It’s just hard for me.

Like this hasn’t been hard for me?

That’s not what I mean!

I know it’s not easy for you.

Why do you think I’ve kept as quiet as I have in all of this?

I never asked you to stay quiet.

I’d never want that and you know it.

I know.

I’m sorry.

Please stop apologizing; none of this is your fault.

Look, all I want is for you to be happy.

That’s it.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted since the beginning.

I want you to be happy too.

Then, what’s the issue?

I don’t know how.

How to be happy?

Yes.

Like my father always says, “In order to be happy in this world, you’ve got to do what you love and be the best at it.”

Hmm.

Why do you think I keep asking you what you love to do in life?

Yeah.

If you tell me, maybe I can help you with it. 

It can be a joint venture or something. 

What do you say?

I can’t do what I love.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

What, you don’t love anything now either?

No, I do.

Then do it, for cripes’ sake!

But I can’t!

But I can’t!”

But I can’t!” you say.

Go on, humor me!

Why can’t you do what you love?

Because I only love you.

© C.M. 2020 All Rights Reserved


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❤️

Ciao for now! 

x


Featured Photo: Laurentiu Robu/Pexels

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