I love you like the pain I feel when I get sad
Before I reminisce about the love we had
Before I messed us up with ridged expectations
Before I pressed your buttons, made you lose your patience
I need you like a blood transfusion when I bleed
I cry so hard, but through my tears you’re all I see
I cry so hard that I go numb, can hardly breathe
I cry so hard, but shallow cuts make me feel freed
I’m overdosing on the past… I effing miss you
I lie and say I hate you, but I know it’s not true
I lie– I say I’m glad you’re gone, but just when I do
I lie and say I’m done, then come completely unglued
Cuz you’re the air, the moon, the stars, the sun and sky
If I have ever lived, then you’re the reason why
If I have ever loved a man, then you’re the guy
If I have to leave, I can’t. I swear I’ve tried.
Please put me out of misery. I’m so distraught.
Cuz losing you’s the worst lesson that I’ve been taught
Cuz losing you’s the gift that Mother Karma brought
Cuz losing you’s exactly what my actions bought
What’s done is done! I’m reaping that which I have sowed
As I watch the life we built swiftly implode
As I watch my smile fade, crack and erode
As I watch you fail to give the f—s that you once showed
Though it hurts, your silence seems to be my sentence
25 to life: Enough to breed repentance
25 to life ain’t life; it’s just a semblance
25 to life is what I call this public penance
© C. M. 2018 All Rights Reserved
Commentary: I have spent the past year listening to more rap and hip hop than I ever could have imagined. There was once a time when you couldn’t have paid me to sit through a rap album (with the exception of Eminem), which is no reflection of the music itself, but more of a testament to my childhood distaste for anything that wasn’t country lol.
My musical interests changed dramatically over time, leading me to wade deeper and deeper into rap/hip hop and its many sub-genres. What started off as a genuine desire to incorporate different elements to my own songwriting, resulted in an ever-evolving appreciation for hip hop and its artistry. Rappers are some of the most gifted people when it comes to word play and overall diction.
Now, I must admit, I’m not always a fan of the lyrical content. While not entirely a prude, I do not find it necessary to lace a song with profanity or drug references just for the heck of it. However, there are times when it simply presents an artist’s truth. And whilst I may not always agree with the delivery of their said truth, I respect their story. I am a storyteller at heart, so a well crafted rhyme is a well crafted rhyme all day long.
Listening to hip hop has literally rewired my brain, allowing me to approach my art from a totally different angle. I take a lot more risks creatively, and I have found many new avenues for expressing my opinions and emotions. Everything I do has a very different rhythm and vibe to it… even when it isn’t necessarily related to music. It has been interesting to see how something as random as a change in musical influence could impact my entire life.
Today’s post was basically the result of spending a whole lot of time listening to a whole lot of hip hop artists that I’ve grown to love. It’s a little poem-ish… a little rap-esque lol. I dunno what it is, really. I wrote it a little while ago now and tweaked a few things (i.e. censoring and word changes), so whatever it is, rereading it inspires me to continue experimenting with this style in the future. It’s not great, sure, but we’ve all got to start somewhere, right? After all, you never know what hidden talents are lurking within us. 🧐
Do any of you know of any inspiring artists (of any genre) who weave a particularly compelling story via their music? Feel free to share down below… I love discovering new stuff to listen to– and interacting with you guys!
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Is there specific content you’d like to see more of on here? Please let me know! I’m always open to suggestions/requests.
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Photo Credit: Pexels
*All written content is that of yours truly. Plagiarism sucks. If you “borrow” something from someone you should always give credit where it is due, so please be sure to do so. Karma will thank you. *